It's still going to be a great year!

What a way to start the year...

(This is a long post, so if you start to fall asleep, you can skip to the bottom, because I'd like to share an important point...)

Last night, I made Morgan a loaf of bread in the bread machine.  I wanted her to have a nice treat for the next day.  We didn't get to celebrate Christmas with Greg's parents, last week, because we were all sick.  Today was "redo" day.  So, this morning, I gave Morgan a slice of her "special" bread and a while later, she was acting clingy and fussy and itching all over.  She had been itchy these past few days, but when Greg lifted her shirt, I saw a familiar-looking rash on her side.  He asked what we had given her that was different and I said, "nothing..."  He asked about the bread and said it was the same kind I used a while back.  I went and dug around for the box in the trash and realized that I had bought the same brand, but not the same variety.  This time, I got the "sandwich bread" mix, and right there on the ingredients list, like a slap in the face, the words "whey (milk)" and "Contains: Milk" are staring at me!  I felt like a complete idiot.  I had read the directions on the back, which call for eggs and I used egg substitute, of course, but I didn't even read the side panel, since I thought it was already cleared as "safe".  Poor Morgan was itching and itching and whining and moaning.  The last time she had milk, it was in the form of goat's milk yogurt, and it made her throw up.

I was waiting for her to hurl, any moment, but instead, she was very fussy and began crying/screaming.  She was scratching at her neck/throat and I asked her if her if there was something wrong with her throat and she said "my throat itches".  I started to panic a bit, on the inside, and went to the cabinet and got the Benadryl.  As I said, usually her milk allergy manifests in vomiting/eczema, so I wasn't sure if the skin on her neck itched, or if something was going on inside.  I gave her 1/2 tsp. of Benadryl and did her "puffer" (Flovent).  I sat with her and watched her like a hawk.  She was crying/screaming, still, and I was trying to get her to stop crying, because her nose was already stuffy and she was very snotty and couldn't breathe out of her nose.  Then, in between loud cries, she lay herself on the floor and grabbed at her neck and was wheezing a little.  I grabbed her and got the diaper bag and some of her milk (hemp milk) and told Greg we had to go to Little Spurs Pediatric Urgent Care - NOW.  I debated about using the Epi-Pen, but didn't want to overreact.  We live 4 minutes from Little Spurs Pediatric Urgent care, and luckily they had just opened and we were the first ones there...Morgan cried all the way there, and as much as I hated to hear it, I was glad, because it meant she was breathing.  I knew it wasn't a guarantee, though, that she was breathing well and getting enough oxygen.     

When we got there, I explained that Morgan had a Class 5 allergy to milk and that I had given her bread with milk in it, by mistake, and she was having trouble breathing.  They took her in right away and, sure enough, her pulse ox (oxygen saturation) was 87 (It should be 95 or higher).  They brought in a mask and gave her some oxygen.  As I'm holding her, they're telling me that if they can't get her oxygen levels up, they have to transport us to the ER via ambulance, because we are not allowed to drive ourselves there, for safety/liability reasons, I presume.  I am fighting back the tears, but pull it together, for Morgan's sake.  Meanwhile, Morgan's resting her head, peacefully on my chest, breathing her oxygen without any fuss, which is good, but unsettling, because she's "too" cooperative, if you know what I mean.  They tested her, again, though, and her oxygen levels were on the rise! Thank goodness!  They brought in some albuterol, to do a breathing treatment and her levels got even better.  They then gave her prednisolone (oral steroid) and Morgan was such a good girl, taking her medicine, without any fuss.  By this point, she's talking, counting the apples painted on the floor, and otherwise fine.  The doctor was skeptical, though, when I told her the milk did this to her, because she said given her history of vomiting/eczema, that it would be odd for just milk baked into something to have caused such a reaction.  She asked if Morgan had Mountain Cedar allergies and I told her that I think the blood tests only covered food allergies and she said the Mountain Cedar levels were very high, right now, and causing a lot of respiratory issues, around town.  Also, Morgan had been sick and was on her last day of antibiotics, so that didn't help.  I guess it was a combination of many factors, but my mistake certainly put Morgan over the edge and I felt terrible.

After the commotion, I was talking with the nurse and asking if I should have used the EpiPen.  She said I could have and it would have been an acceptable thing to do.  In this case, her airways weren't closing very rapidly and she was OK without it, but she said, the thing is, you never know how much time you have, with an allergic reaction situation and it's best to err on the side of caution.  The silly thing is that I had just read an article, two days ago, from Kids with Food Allergies, about the EpiPen and how it's not as scary as it seems, and the needle is REALLY small, even though it comes in this huge dispenser.  The needle is way smaller than those used for vaccinations and delivers a very small dose of medication.  Even so, I was still hesitant to "pull the trigger" when the time came.  

She said, in the future, if there is a known ingestion of an allergenic food, with any breathing difficulty, the process is to administer the EpiPen, and then head straight to the ER.  She said if we feel we have the time, we should drive to either Methodist Children's Hospital in Stone Oak or Santa Rosa, downtown.  She said our local ER (Northeast Methodist) is not really set up to handle pediatric cases.  We have taken Morgan there, a couple of months ago, and they took good care of her, but I know they don't have all the pediatric equipment necessary. 
Edited to add: Knowing what I know now, I would say the thing to do is administer the EpiPen and call 911.  Then, the ambulance can take us to the Children's Hospital.

We explained that Morgan has been on oral steroids and breathing treatments, before, but all stemming from viruses, and she said in those cases, we should go to the ER, but the Epi-Pen is not necessary.  That's just for acute allergic reactions.

They gave us a home nebulizer, to administer treatments every 4 hours, for the next day or so.  They were surprised that we didn't already have one, but I guess since we had the puffer-spacer for the Flovent, we didn't think we needed one, which obviously wasn't right, since Flovent is not for rescue purposes.  Well, now we have one, so that's good.

Meanwhile, Greg's parents had arrived at our house and when we got back home, Morgan was perfectly fine and you couldn't tell what a harrowing morning she had.  Since she was on the oral steroid (and due to all the excitement) she skipped her nap, and got to spend some quality time with Grandma and Grandpa.  We all opened our presents and had a really great time.  The Benadryl and oral steroid cleared up her runny/stuffy nose and cleared up her skin like magic, and she's in better condition that she was yesterday, so there is a silver lining, but I'm not too happy about the route we took to get to this point.  I keep trying to tell myself that it's just good that I reacted quickly and was able to get her treated early and with little residual effects, but I can't help kicking myself for making the mistake in the first place.  I know it's all a learning experience, but it breaks my heart that these lessons are learned at Morgan's expense.  It's unsettling to know that my mistakes can affect her health so severely.  I'm so thankful, though, that she is such a strong little girl and bounces back so well and still has smiles for me every day.  

Part of my reason for sharing this whole ordeal is to let people know that if you have a child with severe food allergies, who has a bad reaction to a food, don't hesitate to administer the Epi-Pen!  I didn't do it, in this case, but I was very lucky that we were seen quickly, and that she only ingested a small amount of milk protein, etc.  The Epi-Pen is just a medicine, and the needle is very thin and you can administer it through a pant leg, in an emergency.  If they don't "need" it, it will most likely not hurt them and if they DO need it, it can save them.  I think my problem is that I envision the scene from "Pulp Fiction" where they inject Uma Thurman's character in the heart with an adrenaline needle as long as my arm.  The Epi Pen is nothing like that and Morgan, in her distress, would probably not even notice it.  I won't be jabbing her for every cough, but if the time comes again (and I hope it doesn't), I'm going to use it.  I have to keep telling myself that it's OK, and that's what it's there for, and it helps more than it hurts.

So, that's how we started off 2011, how about you?  It's a good thing I don't believe in bad luck.  I'm sad and feeling guilty about how all this happened, but I know she's doing great now and can breathe better than the day before, and we just have to keep learning and moving forward.  Just to show she's doing A-OK, now, I'm attaching a picture of the strongest little toddler, named MORGAN!